and is not updated atm.
Even though I wasn’t really playing for a while now, due to my PC being out of date and the so-called „Real Life Stuff” going on, the game still plays a part in my life. I try to be on top of the news, reading forums and official site updates, and listening to a hell of a lot of podcasts. The podcast scene is something awesome. It’s people being creative, being social and, most of all, showing that the community in this game is something more than just the trademark forum trolls and ragers. In the end, those 8 million people are not a community per se, but a sum of many smaller communities, some of which are bad and full of negativity, some of which are good, creative and friendly. It’s like real world in this aspect, you get all types of stuff.
One of the podcasts, Ready Check, is holding a contest, the prize being MoP physical Collector’s Edition! You had to write or record yourself talking about a piece of Mists of Pandaria music you like and your impressions about it. I love recording things and I love WoW music, definitely top of the list of things I love in WoW, so I jumped right in. I recorded a whole podcast-ish thing with me talking, music and sound effects and stuff. Don’t know if that’s what they wanted but creating it sure was fun.
And speaking of music, I own all the official soundtrack albums, but while they are beautifully arranged, I was frustrated that it’s only really a small selection of what is in the game, a selection that’s missing some of my favourite themes. So I extracted the in-game audio files from the MPQ archives only to realise that it’s not really a listenable format. It’s chaos. Short files, often just slightly different takes on similar theme. It’s not fun listening to the same 10 second Zul’aman theme 3 times with annoying fade-ins and fade-outs in between. So I took it upon myself: I’m gonna re-arrange and remix the thing in order to make a listenable soundtrack experience out of un-released WoW music for myself. It won’t be anywhere near the quality of the official releases but it will have to do, given the tools I have. At the moment I already have an hour worth of re-arranged music from Cataclysm patches.
While I listened to it I thought: it’s a bit of work I’ve done here, and if Blizz doesn’t object, maybe I could share it with the community? So I was thinking about the way to go about it. The WoW-blog seems a natural direction. Should I post all the WoW things here and just make a new category, or should I make another blog, strictly WoW-related, so that things won’t get too mixed-up with my other musings and stuff? Maybe I can make something like a sub-blog? I’m not big into web design, so there’s research to be done here. And implementation, afterwards. All this is on my never-ending to-do list. For now, I’m just gonna make a World of Warcraft category here. As for the content, it think it won’t be just about the WoW music. I’m listening to those podcasts and reading those forums, blogs and whatnot, and I’m going craaazy with ideas, my own different takes on things. The one-way nature of listening or reading is driving me crazy. I sent some e-mails here and there and I comment compulsively, but that’s not satisfying enough. Also, I really liked that thing I did for the Ready Check competition, I may include something podcast-ish in here, who knows?
For your information, I’ll list the podcasts and blogs I visit regularly. These are established and well-known. Podcasts: Tauren Think Tank, Behind the Avatar, The Instance, Convert To Raid. Blogs: Alternative, WoW Insider and, of course, WoW official, which includes skimming through the infamous forums. I go through much more material than that, but on a more random basis. Note: there seems to be significant lack of PvP-related content. I sometimes visit PvP-Live for that (a shame their podcast doesn’t have an audio-only download option: I mostly listen to podcasts outdoors or when doing daily chores). I was a subscriber of Skill-Capped too. When I get back into my PvP pants I’ll probably re-sub to their site.
I’ve also started to use Twitter, mostly for WoW-related things. It seems a fun way to keep up-to-date with the community and get some feedback from Blizzard themselves. I’ve already got a question answered by Brian Holinka (Lead PvP Designer)! I never thought such things possible before. It’s really nice that they engage with us in this way.
The last thing that’s on my mind is a bucket of ideas I have for some tabletop Pen’n’Paper RPG World of Warcraft action. It would deal with what I like the most about the game lore: Goblins, Gnomes, their crazy inventions and a little bit of Pandaria/Sha action thrown-in. Yeah, sorry to all the „WoW-died-heroic-serious-dark-grim-medieval-fantasy-Lich-King” people, but I’m not one of you! Which is not to say I have something against „grim”, I just think that a world (of Warcraft or not) in order to be immersive needs many different layers of lore, including humorous, cartoonish, peaceful, and what have you. It has to be varied and unique. I mentioned that recently in my comment on WoW Insider article regarding farms and garrisons.
Phew that’s all I think. For now. In my best Troll impression: „seyah laytah, mon”!
There’s not really much going on with this blog at the moment. For quite some time I haven’t posted anything. I should. Writing is verbalizing thoughts in a precise way. Sometimes you think you know something, you have an opinion, a thought, an idea and then you try to say it… and it really doesn’t click. You heard those stories about genius writers correcting their work, tweaking and adjusting, again and again, even after years of experience in professional thought-to-letter conversion. Of writers being so in love with what they’ve written one evening, only to consider it trash the next morning. I’m not gonna go into great detail about speech versus writing, there are differences, but all in all it is quite similar with talking too.
The reason for all this is because a thought is an ephemeral being, built of impressions and feelings, free of the constraints of time and space. A string of letters or sounds, on the other hand, is right there in front of you. You see all those little nasty details you unconsciously skipped over in your head ruining the picture for you. The rules of language constraint you, there’s need for discipline, clarity. It’s almost as if the language was some kind of intelligent being giving you feedback. Yeah, it’s creepy stuff.
In the end, though, there comes a relief. You don’t have to keep it all in your head anymore. It’s out there in the world and if you’re ever going to need it, all you have to do is pick it up and read it again. Meanwhile, your mind is free to roam and you’re ready to put the fleshed-out ideas into action.
I want this blog to be a reflection of what I am doing creatively. So now I ask myself this very question: „what am I doing?”. And there’s this impression that I know the answer, but at the same time it’s so intangible and chaotic, it feels like white noise of chaos. „White noise of chaos”, I like the sound of that.
So let’s try to convert thought into words to relieve my mind of this White Noise of Chaos! This will happen in upcoming posts, as there’s a lot of ground to cover. Yup, I’m a working-on-lots-of-stuff-and-never-finishing-anything kind of person. I rarely abandon things I start, though. I always come back. Come to think of it, this may be the very reason why I’m so all over the place.
‚Till next time.
Weird, posting when only I, author, am the audience. Well, every blogger starts there I guess. Still, people consider „talking to oneself” a sign of something bad going in the brain, and and this is exactly that, talking to myself. Of course people are stupid. For some reason though stupid people have the uncanny ability to exercise pressure on others. But I digress. In fact I digress from a digression. Oh well, who would have guessed, me digressing? Impossible. It’s how my brain is constructed: basically several neural knots throwing thoughts between each other. Or stealing from each other, more like. So, back to the point:
I haven’t been posting. Basically I have been too ambitious. I lost faith quickly. As usual. Guess if I want a blog I need to start slow. Humble. Take it easy. The previous sophisticated, tightly structured concept of the blog goes to trash (it’s there below in this post, moved from the „about” section, for historical reference in the future).
But why do I want a blog at all? This question was one of the reasons of my disheartening, not finding an answer was the reason I didn’t post anything (or didn’t continue with the writings I already started). It would be naive and unrealistic to dream about sudden blogosphere glory waiting for me here to snatch it. Especially since my interests, stuff I wanted to post about, are not so mainstream. Sometimes I feel like a madman in the ivory tower muttering something to myself, and the existence of this blog reinforced this feeling.
The answers come when you’re not looking for them though. I want a blog because I like writing stuff in the Internet. Simple as it may sound. What it means exactly is I participate in forum discussions and write comments all the time. Comments that are supposed to be one sentence and then turn into the size of an article. Well, almost. Still I was accused of being too long many times, and I’m constantly grinding my teeth when writing, trying to tame the wild river of associations, thinking: „the reader, if there’s any, doesn’t have time or is not willing to put any effort to decipher the point you’re trying get across, mister!!” Correction: multitude of points, even. Shame reality is like that, thousands upon thousands „rhizomes”, and it’s part of my belief, that while it certainly is useful to simplify things, to try to sort the signal from the noise, it’s much worse to oversimplify than overcomplicate. Because that’s the truth of it, the noise will always be there, and we’re just blind people seeing only just a few steps around us in the fog. To pretend otherwise is… bad. Reality will catch up with you (as the recent brilliant Ridley Scott’s movie „The Counselor” shows) or you will hurt others in order not to face it (hello uncle Stalin!). Ouch, I just felt a chill, half a century ago they were killing for saying such things. Anyway, what was my point? I guess it was:
- Blogs seem more length-friendly than youtube comments
- I like writing opinions, musings and other stuff. I’m glued to the screen when I’m writing.
- I am lazy though. How can one be lazy about something they like? Well, after you start writing things begin to flow. The problem is with starting. I’m an impulsive writer, something needs to be stirred inside me. Which is why
- I mostly write random comments and forum posts in random places.
Oh, make an ordered list and you’re starting to make sense. Or be more concise. Magic.
Anyway, I said I’m in the weird place of writing to myself now. Come to think about it, talking to yourself is quite normal, it’s how people think, organize their thoughts. It’s the fact that I’m imagining a non-existent crowd of people instead of just me that doesn’t feel right. I’m letting that imaginary crowd impact what I’m writing. I’m worrying about their needs. Time to recognize these are just my own needs. I remember several bloggers writing about how they started – they needed something for themselves, whatever that was, a list of good books, whatever.
At this particular moment, I feel the need to put all of the stuff I’m writing all over the Internet, the stuff that close to nobody reads, in one place. Yeah, that’s what I want. Regardless what it is about: games, books, music, community, theoretical prattling, what have you. Maybe edit it a little, add some links, tags, to make it look more shiny.
In a way it’s like going back to the origins of blogging, to the idea of a public diary sort of thing. Well, I’m pretty sure such blogs still abound. I started a diary several times in my life. Wrote a bit. Stopped. Wrote a bit. Yeah, that’s the story of my life. Sinusoid. Do a little bit then slump. Then come back. I always come back at least.
So yeah, that’s it. I’ll just clean up some strange categories and here I go again. Prepare for some randomness.
Hope to see you… /cough/ … „myself” soon.
Previous idea for the glorious blog of mine:
- The concept:
- Aural explorations – music that I listen to or create (vocals, bass guitar, midi keyboard, PC)
- Scribbled incantations – my writings: musical lyrics or prose
- Intellectual investigations – my thoughtwork in the area of humanities (aesthetics, semiotics, mass culture), computer games (retrogaming) and music; sometimes life in general (rants?)
- The goal:
- share my works
- reach out to the blogging community formed around the topics of music, gaming and humanities and participate
- get in touch with the latest developments in the aforementioned areas
- hone my skills in English language, creative writing/thinking and musicianship
- The method
- organised, disciplined and lucid structure. Categories divided in accordance to what was written in „the concept”.
- short length: the global nature of contemporary information networks is a sea of possibilities and an information overload at the same time. We need to be selective and to maximize our efficiency. We multitask so we need the information to be mobile-friendly. It doesn’t mean that it’s shallow: each piece links to countless other pieces, so there is no possibility for definite closure. First we need to get captivated, then we can go about details. Hence my prose is in the genre of miniatures, for example. Also, see here for details about my way of posting.
- bilinguality: English is an international language, so it is forced upon the users wanting to be a part of the global community. My native language is Polish, though, so I feel more comfortable using it and I also want to reach out to Polish-speaking community. Hence my posts will be written in both languages. I treat it as a great opportunity to improve my language skills. Also, naturally, expect some mistakes in my English.
- I’m a poor but creative guy from Poland in mid twenties. Leftist. Antagonist of the education system – still haven’t graduated. Diabetic.
- The name of the blog:
- I leave it to you, ladies!
No Polish version yet / Brak polskiej wersji
Objects mentioned are historical objects:
They are everything that we only infer from the present. I’d like to say: „present” in a broad sense of everything that we can potentially experience in our lives. But that would cause problems.
Problems: How do we determine what is potentially possible, what does it mean? How do we differentiate that from historical objects that are also, in a way, potentially possible? When we try to pinpoint that meaning of the present, to differentiate it from any sings of future and past, it shrinks into an infinitely („infinitely” in a literal sense) small point in time and ultimately disappears.
Possible solution: Disappears, unless we go beyond the commonsense assumption that infinitely small things do not exist. Maybe philosophical examination of the mathematical knowledge would allow for a deeper reintepretation of the notions of infinity and continuum. Especially that we tend to, even if we hardly admit it, use mathematical, specifically geometrical, metaphors to visualise abstract problems. Take „middle ground” for example, or the notion of „extremes”. I also think scales constructed and used in psychology and sociology should be interpreted as metaphors, not realistically. I’d like to search for such a notion that would describe the present in a „maximal” way, which means that it would contain the largest possible area of experience while maintaining properties distinct from the past and the future.
Method: The thing is to use mathematics in a philosophical way, that is to search for meaning instead of something that just works and fits the constructed theory. The dangers are two: From what I’ve experienced philosophy that takes inspiration in mathematics gets easily enthralled by mathematical methods to the point that it becomes mathematics (even if as a distinct subdiscipline of it). There’s also the problem of arbitrary usage where mathematics can clearly be eliminated in favour of clarity as it serves only for fake legitimisation purposes.
Unfortunately as of now I lack said mathematical knowledge to further illuminate my intuitional idea of the (maximal) present. That’s as far as my thought can go today in making connections between different signifiers (that’s how I understand the term „illuminate”).
Present, present, present… but that’s just a minuscule brick from which the historical object is built by contrast. The bottom line is that historical is what does not overlap with present, even in a maximal sense. And it’s the historical that causes doubts about the past, creationist, catastrophist, etc.
So why do we need history at all?
One thing that always strikes me is that whenever there’s talk about the modes of discourse outside what’s already established as the norm of theoretical talk, those modes stay outside, as the object of discourse, „out there”, and never penetrate that discourse itself. Though it may seem an obvious remark, doesn’t it show that we are still staying on the safe side, like with all this fascination with the Other as an alien, primitive person exploited in the reservation or in the zoo. How does one incorporate things like that into the discourse itself? And again, that very question is formulated within the coordinates of the „theoretical” mode of talk. We can then „play out” those modes of discourse according to our theoretical sketches but are those still the same phenomena that we were so fascinated about? Or just beasts caught within the confines of the zoo? I’m thinking we can’t break the unbreakable barriers between incompatible types of talk, we can only invent new things. Like what Vonnegut did – is that still a paper assignment? Or a letter? But maybe we, Vonnegut included, are just forcing it to the old coordinates (well, the academic institution forces us in fact), while it is something entirely, or at least partially, new?
Polska wersja w rozwinięciu „ciąg dalszy” / Polish version of the post after the „More Tag”
a stalemate forces to reinvent the sides of the conflict
While I was familiarising with no. 1 and no. 2, it inspired me to ask myself: what if the problem with those theories lies not in their own structure, arguments, methodology etc. but in the very object of their inquiry itself? An object which:
- Does not exist (or exists only partially in the present – we have a mountain, though we speak about the supposedly same mountain 10000 years ago). This calls for some thought about time, temporality…
- Is theoretical. Whether there was a mountain 10000 years ago or not, this mountain exists in our speculating brains.
- But only in our speculating brains. This mountain can’t be produced. If we had the technology for it, we could make a mountain, but this would at best be a present duplicate of the past mountain. Past mountains stay in the past. However, we can potentially try to reproduce the process according to which mountains change.
My thesis: to show that such objects are debatable endlessly. Consequence: Scientifically accepted theories also fall under this category. Problem: How to account for practical applications of debatable science.